Lesson 2: Preparing: Goals, Limits and Information

Why preparation does most of the work

Here's something that surprises a lot of people. Much of a negotiation is won or lost before anyone says hello.

Think of it like a road trip. You wouldn't set off without knowing where you're going, how much you can spend on fuel, and which roads are closed. Negotiating is the same. If you know your destination, your budget and the road ahead, you stay calm when the other person tries a detour.

In this level we'll prepare three things: a goal, a limit and a list of the information you still need. Then we'll put all three on one page.

Meet Sam

Let's use a real-feeling example. Sam is a facilities coordinator. The office cleaning contract renews in six weeks. Right now it costs £1,800 a month. The supplier has just emailed: "From next quarter, the price will be £2,100."

That's a rise of about 17%. Sam's first instinct is to reply straight away and say, "That's too much!"

Should Sam do that? Not yet. Let's prepare first.

Step 1: Set an ambitious but realistic goal

Your goal is the outcome you're genuinely aiming for. It isn't your fantasy deal, and it isn't the bare minimum.

Why aim high? Research summarised by the Harvard Program on Negotiation finds that people who set specific, challenging goals tend to get better results than people with modest or vague goals. A stretching goal makes you work harder and stops you settling too early.

But here's the catch. The same research warns that very high aspirations can hurt relationships. They can also make a deadlock more likely. So we want ambitious and realistic.

Notice the word specific, too. "Get a good deal" isn't a goal. You can't measure it. Compare that with Sam's version:

"Keep the price at £1,850 a month or less, and add a quarterly deep clean."

That's clear, it's a stretch, and Sam can tell whether it happened.

Step 2: Decide your limit, and write it down

Your limit is the point past which you'd rather not do the deal at all. For Sam, finance has said the cleaning budget can't go above £1,950 a month.

So why write it down before you talk? Because in the moment, things get warm. The supplier is friendly, they say "just £50 more," and agreeing feels easier than arguing. A limit you decided calmly in advance protects you from being talked into something you'll regret.

Keep your goal and your limit apart. Your goal is where you're aiming. Your limit is where you stop. If you only prepare a limit, you'll often end up right on it.

We'll look much more closely at how to work out a solid limit in a later level. For now, the habit is simple: decide it early, write it down, and stick to it.

Step 3: List the information you still need

This is the step people skip, and it's where a lot of the strength comes from.

Ask yourself: what facts would make my case stronger, or show me I'm wrong? Then ask: where do I find them?

Here's Sam's list:

• Market rates. What do other cleaning firms charge for a similar office? Source: ask two or three suppliers for quotes.
• History. What have we paid over the past few years, and were there earlier rises? Source: old invoices and the contract file.
• Performance. Have there been complaints or missed cleans? Source: the facilities helpdesk log.
• Terms. What's the notice period, and when must we give notice? Source: the current contract.
• Budget and sign-off. Who approves the final deal? Source: finance.

Why does market information matter so much? In Getting to Yes, Roger Fisher and William Ury suggest basing agreements on objective criteria: standards that don't depend on either side's will, like market value or precedent. If Sam can say, "Similar firms quoted around £1,850," the talk moves from "I want" versus "you want" to "what's fair here?"

How preparation sounds in practice

Here's Sam on the phone, a week later:

Supplier: We really do need £2,100. Costs have gone up across the board.

Sam: I understand costs have risen. I've had a couple of quotes for similar offices, and they're closer to £1,850. We've also had three missed cleans this year. Can you help me understand how you got to £2,100?

See what happened? Sam stayed calm, used facts, and kept things friendly. That's preparation doing its job.

Your one-page preparation template

Now it's your turn. Pick a real negotiation coming up at work and fill this in:

1. The situation: Who, what, and by when?
2. My goal: Specific, ambitious, realistic.
3. My limit: The point where I'd stop. Written down.
4. Information I need: Each fact, plus where I'll find it.
5. Objective standards I can point to: Market rates, past deals, policies.
6. My opening few sentences: How I'll start the conversation.

Keep it to one page. You want to be able to glance at it during the call.

Key takeaways

• Set a specific, challenging goal. It tends to get better results than a vague or modest one, but keep it realistic so you don't damage the relationship.
• Decide your limit before you negotiate, and write it down so the pressure of the moment can't move it.
• Keep your goal and limit separate: aim for one, stop at the other.
• List the information you need and where to find it: market rates, history, performance, terms and who signs off.
• Use objective criteria like market value and precedent, an idea from Fisher and Ury's Getting to Yes.